


You're Not Different

by aiIenzo



Category: LM.C
Genre: Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-16
Updated: 2013-09-16
Packaged: 2017-12-26 19:02:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 771
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/969199
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aiIenzo/pseuds/aiIenzo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's beyond explanation. Aiji is still.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You're Not Different

There’s always a dark part of a compressed mind, something vulnerable that erupts when too much is pressed against it, attempting to dislodge it entirely from the cerebrum and out of existence. Maya’s doesn’t come often. But when it does, and when there’s no one, reasoning is torn to pieces. 

He won’t drink, of course, because it seems pitiful and far too simple just to be able to drown what keeps resurfacing. He’ll sit on the bed, feeling the lush fabric beneath his fingers as he chews absently on his lip, eyes clouding over as he remembers. His dog died, right on his birthday. He was ten. His first girlfriend smashed his favourite guitar when they broke up. It hurt. Things like that, things like this, so crude and low-class, so undeniably unrespectable for their presence only in the past cause his eyes to glaze. Shimmer delicately. He wants to feel like they matter.

Because they did.

But no one really gets it, because it’s Maya, and for god’s sake what can he be upset about? But the lights are off and Maya was always alone on the bed, the dark somehow silencing his disposition as words, careful words come into play. His body aches. He’s sad. His chest is being torn open but he can’t figure out where the pain is coming from. He hears and feels everything. Nothing.

He’s not sure why he let Aiji in one night, and even more perplexed that Aiji came to call at all. They were beyond sharing bedrooms. It wasn’t necessary, wasn’t them, and wasn’t a problem. But Maya’s sitting against the window ledge, drawing pictures in the condensation with a fingerprint he so suddenly hates hates _hates_ and it's strange. It’s beyond explanation. Aiji is still. 

The picture smears and Maya is livid. A shaking hand wipes away any trace of the failure, leaving small streaks of water in its place and mocking him as they rebuild themselves.

“I thought it might have been an antenna,” Aiji said lightly, motioning towards the window with the ruined picture. “You know, for the alien you were making. Could’ve pulled it off.”

“It wasn’t an alien.” Maya snapped, and for once, he didn’t feel awful about his attitude. Aiji was here and he shouldn’t be here and what what _what_ was anyone going to do about it? Nothing. Because that’s the way people are with Maya. Nothing he does surprises them, and it’s so cute; it’s precious!blahblahblah. And yet with all his idiosyncratic habits, all his random bouts of everything and anything, he remains so unnoticed. Nothing is new. He hates it.

“It’s late Maya. Go to bed.”

“What, with you?” He’s pacing now, running a hand through his hair. There’s still product in it. It drives him crazy. 

Aiji shrugs. “I’m here, might as well.”

Maya can’t keep eye contact. His teacher in eight grade failed him because he didn’t show his work on the test. He didn’t need to show his work. He did it in his head. Why couldn’t she understand that? She failed him. 

“Why are you here? You have your own room.”

Aiji is half hidden in the shadows of his own body, his legs up on the bed and his arms wrapped around himself. Maya feels like someone should be smoking, but Aiji is speaking, something better to do with his mouth, he thinks.

“I heard you for an hour… being absolutely silent.”

“You heard my silence.” Maya is irritated. Go away! Go go go! There’s a hole in Aiji’s jeans and what, is that cool now? Is that what’s fashionable? Maya wants to hit him.

“You’re never silent. Come to bed with me.”

No no no.

NO NO NO.

He doesn’t know what he’s disagreeing to. His mind is draining out. He wants to cry, cry and feel everything vanish.

“Aiji! I can’t _stand_ this!”

He’s holding his head and it’s pathetic, he knows; he looks just like the people he laughs at in movies and everything is sound and breathing and too much thinking. Too much. Too much of living life and not letting go. Aiji’s words are cheap, but right now, that’s how Maya feels. Aiji rests his head on his knees, gazing at Maya through eyes that light up the darkness of the room.

“Then you should probably kiss me.”

There’s a pause in Maya’s movements, and he’s gazing at Aiji. Gazing and watching and blissfully, the sound of the clocks seem to stop as he shuffles forward and feels himself falling.

Huh, Maya thinks.

But this time, Aiji is there to catch him.


End file.
